John Oliver shits on Ottawa in Ashley Madison breach report [VIDEO]

•••
Like a true colonialist squatting on his backwards provinces, John Oliver foisted tired stereotypes of Canada and bent Ottawa over a barrel in his report on the security breach at the Canadian-made dating site for married pervs, Ashley Madison. Witness: John, c'mon. I've been to Paris and I've been to Ottawa. In only one of these cities can you[...]

Scott Feschuk's column on summer beer is hilarious and right on

•••
Scott Feschuk is a Canadork renaissance man and my favourite kind of humorist: a versatile one. Feschuk has written for This Hour Has 22 Minutes and, presumably with a straight face, worked as the chief speechwriter for then Prime Minister Paul Martin. Weird. Are they smiling on a Greyhound bus? That’s like Obama hiring a Daily Show wr[...]

Today in sex news: A giant, glitter-spraying penis that sneaks up on you

•••
Giant glitter-spraying penis stars in Norwegian sex education advert [VIDEO] Norwegian sexual health charity hires man in giant penis costume to creep up on unsuspecting members of the public and spray them with golden confetti. Read more >> The secret lives of phone sex workers Phil Toledano tracked down US phone sex professionals, photogr[...]

Your real horoscope: June 23-29

•••
ARIES (March 21 - April 20): Uh oh. You think you may have made a huge mistake. Fret not. All will be well. TAURUS (April 21 - May 21): It’s time to break free. Sure, they’ll just keep pulling you. Back. In. But this is good practice. GEMINI (May 22 - June 21): Take it down a notch, big shot. The planets, and your ruler Mercury in particular, warn th[...]

Here is the 2015 Polaris Music Prize Long List

•••
The list ranges from the familiar (Drake, Joel Plaskett) to the familiar yet unexpected (Buffy Sainte Marie) to the peripherally exciting (Louis-Jean Cormier, Aboriginal Folk, Rock and Country, 1966-1985) Luckily, you can listen to a Spotify playlist of the Long List here. The Short List will be unveiled on July 16 at The Carlu in Toronto and the g[...]

BIRDIE is the book Canadian women have been waiting for

•••
What, you haven't read BIRDIE yet?  Wait — you haven't even heard about it? Let's get you up to speed. Here's the publisher's blurb about Tracey Lindberg's debut novel: And here's the link to it in iBooks. (Go get it now.) If you think you’re in for a laugh-a-minute quirky Canadiana ode to The Beachcombers, you’re in for a treat. Because it’s no[...]

Starry mourning: An homage to Malene Arpe

•••
Toronto Star entertainment writer Malene Arpe died suddenly last Thursday following a massive heart attack. She was 50. She was the voice of the Sunday Star's Stargazing, where she demonstrated a slick capability for deflating the pomposity of celebrity, plus the sharp sense of the absurd that characterizes the finest Canadian humour. In her final, unfini[...]

Consent: It's as simple as tea! [VIDEO]

•••
Awesome blogger Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess wrote a post to demystify the very, very, very confusing concept of consent. Her content inspired this video, which explains consent in terms of serving tea. FINALLY! Consent simplified. For simpletons. Share this if you think it's sad to pour tea on sleeping people.

The guy behind 'Fuck her right in the pussy' is a total Ralph Wiggum

•••
I was really looking forward to dismantling the douche behind the original 'Fuck her right in the pussy' video hoax, but it turns out he's slow and dumb like Ralph Wiggum and you end up kind of feeling sorry for him rather than revelling in the satisfaction of taking him down. Observe his bio: John Cain loves to make people laugh. 2014 was a success.[...]

How drunk was Elizabeth May? [VIDEO]

•••
I think she was very drunk. Federal Green Party leader Elizabeth May fucked up huge with her tone deaf speech at the annual Ottawa Press Gallery Dinner this weekend: That's Conservative MP and Transport Minister Lisa Raitt, a member of the "whole fucking cabinet," practically dragging Green off stage at the end. A few things to note here: She's [...]

Your real horoscope: May 11-17

•••
ARIES (March 21 - April 20):  Surprise the shit out of your bae this week. Not literally. Hopefully. In a romantic way. TAURUS (April 21 - May 21): Stop fucking around reading the internet. You’ve got to get shit done. GEMINI (May 22 - June 21): That free lunch is expensive. But also delicious? Question mark? CANCER (June 22 - July 23): Get a[...]

Join the (political) party. You get to choose!

•••
It's an election year, dumb-dumb. You want to celebrate Canada then you better look after Canada. One weird archaic way to do it? Involve yourself in the political process by joining one of the 16 (!) political parties that are registered with Elections Canada. Which one do you love the best? Which one do you think is most bonkers? Leave a comment and let[...]

Your Canada Day menu

•••
Wondering what to eat on the big day? Whether you're camping, cottaging or patio-ing, be inspired by the food of your country:

Canada Day: Book a campsite

•••
Planning on camping? Book your campsite now before all the best spaces are taken. For national parks, book through Parks Canada here. For provincial parks, hit these links: British Columbia Alberta Saskatchewan Manitoba Ontario Algonquin Provincial Park in Ontario Quebec Newfoundland New Brunswick Prince Edward Island Nova Scotia Yukon No[...]

67 days til Canada Day: Book time off now!

•••
April 24:  It's 67 days 'til Canada Day and the countdown starts now! Canada Day falls on a Wednesday this year so now's the time to get your request in for holidays ahead of all your colleagues. Can't get any time off? Can't even get Canada Day off? Don't worry. Over the next 67 days, we'll give you great ideas for how to enjoy Canada's b[...]

And a 6-pack to go: Ontario bars want to sell takeout beer

•••
Grabbing beer to go from your local bar would mean wider distribution for craft brewers who complain about their limited access to the LCBO and Beer Store. 6 provinces, including Quebec and British Columbia, already allow restaurants and bars to sell beer for home consumption as part of their liquor licences. READ MORE >> The latest id[...]

Dr. Fredric Brandt's death: Does Martin Short have blood on his hands?

•••
Dr. Fredric Brandt, dermatologist to stars such as Madonna and Stephanie Seymour, was found dead in his Miami home yesterday. In an absurd twist, the work of Canadian comedian Martin Short has been implicated on social media. Lesley Abravanel, Celebrity Columnist for the Miami Herald for over 15 years, posted these tweets about the circumstances of Dr. Bran[...]